Love Songs We Never Want to Hear Again (18)

When Journey went on hiatus toward the end of the Eighties, keyboardist Jonathan Cain and guitarist Neil Schon formed Bad English with John Waite of the Babys on vocals – and went on to achieve levels of cheesy terribleness their other band had barely approached. No blow-dried power ballad ever did it bigger, dumber, emptier or gloppier than “When I See You Smile,” a love letter to a girl who never forgets to bring an umbrella along on dates (“And when the rain is falling, I don’t feel it ‘cause you’re here with me now“). Waite’s herniated vocals make Steve Perry sound like Al Green.